Cutt Offs

Nothing is worse than terrible drivers… I am not saying that I am anything great, and to be frank, I am absolutely awful when it comes to directions (this is an understatement), but today I was driving in to school and was cut off by a van. I understand the importance of carrying cold blooded creatures to their final destination in a timely manner, but please don’t risk my life in the process.

A list of possible scenarios that ran through my head regarding the violent right lane change of the logo emblazoned truck:

1: Some eccentric’s expected pet tree boa escaped from its cage. The snake wrapped itself tightly around the delivery man and his van was forced into the right lane while he grappled and tapped to try to relax the grip of the terrible lizard.

2: The classic turtle under the brake pedal. The delivery man could not slow down his truck because of this hard-shelled impediment, forcing him to weave violently through traffic with his van in neutral.

3: The image of the van jamming on its brakes after cutting me off- I, helpless to the goings on and not quick enough to react (as I was still trying to make sense of the logo, not to mention a little upset about his unexpected lane change) would slam into the back of the van, releasing its contents- hundreds of scaly cricket-eaters all over the hood of my 1996 Chevy Malibu.

Luckily, though, tragedy was avoided…



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One Response to “Cutt Offs”

  1. isthatafireparade Says:

    Are we all addressing the “to whom it may concern” topic this week? Good to hear you are letting it out too. Yours seems much more substantial.

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