Shelf Life

Funny things can be found all over- supermarket shelves, news headlines, other people’s misfortunes.

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Take, for instance, a man with an uncanny resemblance to Henry Winkler wearing a kilt for your Scott’s porage oats enjoying pleasure. Yes, you can delight in oats milled by the highland might of the Fonz. Or, maybe you might be able to draw a bit of a disgusted chuckle at the thought of a giant beer can full of hot dogs in salt water. Nothing says stars and stripes like Ye Olde Oak giant brine-soaked hot dogs.

Perhaps your brand of comedy is situational… then you might enjoy this article from the Daily Mail.
Worlds Apart: The Moment the Tallest Man Met the Shortest

I suppose the sight of Mr. Xishun (standing 7.9′) and Mr. Pingping (a mere 2.4′) working their way through the buffet line at Xishun’s Mongolian wedding is worth a giggle.

This breaking news details the 12 hour rescue of a Minnesota man who found himself in a bit of trouble in Wisconsin. The 500-pound apparently beached himself while tubing down the shallow St. Croix River. Like the man himself, rescue boats and canoes ran aground in the shallow waters.

Efforts to reach him with an all-terrain vehicle and a hovercraft also failed.

Some news stories play out almost even better than a joke. In Romania: A Handless Man is Arrested For Drunk Driving.
Now, this story would be sad and tragic, if it weren’t for the fact that when the arresting officer pulled him over, the disabled man was not only drunk, but stark naked.

Once in a while one comes across something that is both funny and useful. How many times do you exit the shower only to wish that you had something that might dry the water off your body? And how many times do you imagine what it may look like if Freddie Mercury walked hand-in-hand with Mowgli from the Jungle book? Well, I found a set of towels that takes care of both of these issues quick-sticks. I found these two towels at a gallery in London- one shows Freddie Mercury of Queen doing some hand holding with a loinclothed Mowgli, and the other shows the always trendy Yves St. Laurent fingers-locked with freckle faced Pippi Longstocking.

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Finally, sometimes the shelves can synthesize humor, like when lunchmeat provides the catalyst for Michael Ian Black’s Meditation on Salami.

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2 Responses to “Shelf Life”

  1. Kylie Xu-Zaretsky Says:

    incred! towels! these lines, i’m into them. oh and brine soaked hotdogs, but thats old news to you.

  2. Larry Solitrin Says:

    I’m not sure of the contents, but the packaging is wonderful. How would you like to be the designer whose assignment is to market these two products…I wouldn’t.

    I would really like to see the packaging for brine smelling toilet paper, or feminine napkins that give you that Porage Oats feel. It might be good to combine the two, and have Freddie Mercury on either package…it would work.

    You could even use the products to dry oneselve off!

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