3354.26 Miles

Today I recieved a welcome surprise from one Kylie Burniche. A simple yellow envelope that traveled 3354.26 miles from Malta, NY to Epping, GB. Included in her letter was a lovely brochure informing me how to save America’s wolves upon my return back to the states; the brochure featured wonderful wolve photography by the likes of Derek Lueth and some guy who calls himself “Guitar Johnny.” I was also lucky enough to find an invitation for a very exclusive Squid Party, which unfortunately I will not be able to attend. Kylie explains that squid parties usually involve a squid-themed movie or Discoery channel special, followed by a Q&A. This is not be confused with the Hawaiian OctoSquid Party or the Laughing Squid Party

As well, Kylie was kind enough to export to me one of America’s greatest-


Yes, the Meatloaf Bat Out of Hell II CD. Featuring such memorable songs as “2. Life Is A Lemon And I Want My Money Back,” “Objects In The Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are,” and “Meatloaf Struggles to Catch His Breath, Gasping for Air While His Man Tits Bounce Violently (LIVE),” Meatloaf’s Bat Out of Hell II marks the second part of an obese man’s journey to find love and balance on a less-than-accomodating motorcycle seat.

Kylie was also kind enough to provide her own Okie Noodling Mix. The catfish emblazoned EP was accompanied by this charmingly related polaroid-


The mix even included a Mom’s Choice Track; Eric Prydz “Call On Me”

A kind thanks goes out to all of the Burniches involved.


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